Most of us want to stay independent in our own homes and communities. In order to do this, however, we need to feel safe, financially secure, in reasonably good health, with access to transportation and to community services. we also want to stay in touch with our families, neighbours and friends.
Information is one way to achieve these goals. Out lives are a lot easier if we know what kind of help is available and where to get it when we need it. However, adult children often worry about their parents' situation and it can be difficult to know if parents really need, or indeed want, help from their children. For your parents' or relatives' welfare and your peace of mind, it's important to have an open discussion about staying at home before problems arise.
Here are some suggestions for breaking the ice:
"What kind of help would you need if you weren't able to carry on doing everything for yourself and yet you wanted to continue to live on safely at home?"
"I know that you've always prided yourself on being independent. I imagine that it's very difficult to ask for help. Is that right?"
"I know that you're taking pills for your arthritis, heart, and cholesterol. How do you keep track of which pills you take and when?"
"You mentioned having problems with your eyesight. How does it affect what you normally do - like reading or driving?"
Give your parents a list of questions or concerns that you have, which could be about their current and future situation. Try and arrange a convenient and relaxed time to sit and talk about your concerns.
